Prentiss
by princesstarfire
Summary: "She never made it off the table." A physical wince was the only reaction Hotch managed


_Subtle_

Obvious

_Serious_

Playful

_Strict_

Rebellious

They were opposites in too many ways as far as he, Agent Aaron Hotchner was concerned. Profiler at the BAU in Quantico was aware of just a few of the adjectives that differed the raven haired beauty he had come to known as Agent Emily Prentiss. She was a ball of energy, stubborn and willful to a fault, passionate and sometimes reckless but he had come to trust and respect her dearly, flaws and all she was one of his dearest friends.

Despite his icy welcome of her and his microscope judgments of her ability to perform she had earned her stripes with him and become his confidant. Aaron knew the job and after Foyet he knew even better the risk the job provided him with, but it had been okay….with Emily things could be different. She was an agent, she could protect herself…she was a profiler…she understood how to read those around her.

She was the daughter of an ambassador she would be well watched…and yet somehow he had ended up here again, helpless….hoping…_praying_, that life wouldn't deal him this grief a second time. He could have wished he had known sooner, he could wish he had told her how he had started to notice she loved Sci-fi novels, how she took her coffee black when she was suffering from a hang-over. He didn't miss the tremor in her tone when she was nervous….or the fact she was always eager if he ever needed someone to come pick up Jack.

He didn't know what she smelt like up close though, he didn't know how many children she had or who her first crush was. He didn't know what she looked like when she first woke up in the morning or how her lips tasted when he pressed his against them. He didn't know if she preferred baths or showers or her favorite set of shoes…

But he had noticed their bond changing, he didn't have a pet name for her like Morgan, he didn't have Russian movies and chess like Reid. He couldn't even say she was his closets confident like Rossi…..but he had could say he cared for her in a different way from the rest of his team. He could say as they prayed she would live for them to welcome her back he could to apologize he had let her get hurt again.

The urge, this inner voice that always urged him to protect her was rearing its head when he listened to her be beat by Cyrus. When her car crashed and Morgan called him…and when he knew she was being held hostage by Doyle, and that same voice had raged when he threatened to destroy her partner earlier.

He placed an impassive mask on his face while they waited when heels clicking caught his attention.

Any ounce of hope he had died in JJs eyes the blondes eyes brimmed with tears as she held back the sob threatening to ruin her composure

"_She never made it off the table."_ A physical wince was the only reaction Hotch managed before exiting the room hearing the rest of his team weep. The wall provided the support he needed, she was gone…Emily was gone and there was nothing they could do, no mask no emotion…nothing could bring her back to them or him.

The funeral was everything it should have been had Emily been most people, but she wasn't and Aaron knew all these politicians and the big scenes the media coverage the traditionally feel wasn't something she would have wanted.

It passed by in a blur for him, his team all showed their grief openly as Aaron kept an impassive face, never struggling with his emotions but simply….showing a polite mournful stance. He followed the line and halted; running his fingers against the coffin gently….this was the closest he would ever come to stroking any part of her and he had to accept that….

Releasing his rose he let go…..of the last part of his heart, of his hopes and his little fantasies of them working at in some distance future, he let go of _Emily_ and walked back to his team. The only thing he could hold on now was the promise he had made JJ when they stepped outside of the operating room, that they would get Doyle for what he had done.

He was home alone, a beer in his hand and watching TV….Jack was with Jessica and he couldn't have missed his son more, the downside to being alone was it gave you time to think. It gave you time to simmer, for things to set in and for everything to crash down on you…..

And then he did it, he took out his cellphone and he called her….just to hear her voice one last time and do what he had wanted to but hadn't been able to do. It went to voicemail of course and he inhaled deeply before speaking

"Emily, I'm sorry….." The façade broke, a tear slipped down Aarons face as he inhaled slowly

"For everything you'll miss_….I'm sorry_."

_So sorry_

_A/N I didn't want to add this because I felt it might ruin the story so I put this at the very end. I watched lauren and like the rest of you realized Hotch and JJ were faking her death. I was crying till that happened and honestly felt kind of cheated about the whole thing. This one shot could be interpreted both ways but MY version has Emily dying and Doyle escaping, not her death being faked hence why JJ is holding back a sob, her friend really is dead...Happy Reading, Princess Starfire..._


End file.
